By C. J. Stegall-Evans  

I started a post about my grandmother’s garden and as I began to edit I decided I had to come clean: I am a plant killer. I never planned on a plant killing lifestyle but I just can’t seem to help myself. A few years ago I even killed an artificial plant (my cat helped).  

In truth I really love plants every few years I will try to grow one. Most recently, I received a rosemary; as I am pulling out of the parking spot I think I see the plant move closer to the door. It must be my imagination. I’m almost home and I look back again, while at a traffic light and catch the poor plant as its about to jump out the window. I sigh, because I know the plant would rather take its chances on tar in the Florida sun than go home with me.

I get my plant home, I water it, I nurture it, I do everything my research tells me to do. My cat even loves this plant. She does not eat it but rather curls her body around it and cuddles. This plant is getting water and love and everything I can possibly give it. Week four rolls around and this plant is on its last leg.

I can’t figure out for the life of me what I could have done wrong. During this period I was also attending a gardening volunteer class. I thought I would learn not to be a plant killer and help my community with my new found plant knowledge. I enjoyed the class except all they talked about was plants. I’m used to writers talking about writing and teachers talking about teaching but I felt outside of my comfort zone in the plant cult.

They kept torturing me by asking about my plants; If I didn’t get out of there soon I would break. I knew any minuet they would all rise, start chanting, “plant killer, plant killer” and start poking me with gardening tools. I tried but I’m never going to be a volunteer gardener. I also may never become a plant owner. I lament my fate as I prepare to throw out a pygmy date palm I’ve had since 2004. I’ve tried those so called hard to kill plants; believe me it’s not that hard. I find solace in having the ability to write about plants.    

© 2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved)  

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans

Most days I wake up with all these expectations of what my life will be like today. Well, today is different for whatever reason I have no expectations. I feel good about this day but I have no set plans. It is freeing in a way but the part of me that want to control every minute of my life is rather confused.

I have only one thing written in my planner. I have a zillion and one things to do; is it possible to just let things go on a week day?  I’m not sure but I will try. I like when new concepts or feelings introduce themselves into my life. I view it as an opportunity to dig deeper and learn more.

I’m curious as to where this will lead as a person and as a writer. Is this a lesson only for today or will I find a way to incorporate it into my life? This strange gift brought with it a new layer of awareness because I really want to be fully present and experience this day.

*** I will finish this thought pattern this evening***

6:23 pm

I attempted to have a day with no expectation just an open heart. I did a lot of listening and was genuinely interested in what students and co-workers had to say. I met quite a few new people and made a point to remember who they are and their story. I don’t feel as if I judged anyone but rather embraced them whole heartedly as themselves. I also noticed that I did not judge myself as harshly. I did not worry whether or not I was making mistakes; I just did my best.         

©  2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved) 

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans

I worked really hard last week and even had one 15 hour day.  I began the 15 hour day asking “how Lord” and as the fun filled day sped by I ended it saying “thank you, Lord.” Although I work four part-time jobs I am not complaining; I am grateful. I would much rather have four jobs I am passionate about than one job I hate.

In the past few years I have taken to making sound decisions about the kind of life I want to live and what that entails. It has been quite a challenge to find employment that speaks to me as person and as a writer. I have no desire to re-enter the rat-race therefore it is imperative that my jobs revolve around the things I love which are writing, reading, and teaching.

I write from home on a daily basis both for myself and others. I also read from home. I used to always think wouldn’t it be nice having a job where I could read all day? Now, I still can’t believe people pay me to sit on my patio and read; go figure.

This may not seem like much to some of you but I know so many people who are unhappy with their lives.  I wonder at what point do you stop and say this is not the way my life is supposed to look. I fear at some point some of us give up and just start meandering aimlessly through life.

I beseech everyone reading today, to please find that thing that you are passionate about. If you don’t know, think back to when you were a kid. What made you happy? A lot of times we realize who and what we are meant to be when we are younger but time and well-meaning people sway us from our path.  

It’s never too late; so sit down and figure what you want to be when you grow up. Life is too precious to spend one day unhappy or out of place. Go out and make that life you were suppose to live. When you get a chance (today) sit down have a cup of tea (or coffee) and write about the life of your dreams. Feel free to email it to me with dreams in the subject line at cjse@writingasasacredart.com; I love to read. I’m excited for you already!

© C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved)

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

Welcome to the March 15, 2010 edition of Lovely Words. There was quite the interesting array of submission for this volume. Although Lovely Words has published an article on spousal abuse our primary focus is peace and harmony. Therefore, we ask that authors please submit only articles that enhance our consciousness of what it means to be human. We will start today edition with a bit of poetry. Everyone, have a lovely day.      

Poetry

Madeleine Begun Kane presents A Miss-Misunderstanding posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog.

Robert Terrell presents dawn smiles posted at the existential poet.

Inspiration

Simply Luxurious presents Uniquely Perfect posted at Simply Luxurious.   “ Have the courage to create the life of your dreams.”

Writing

Rowena Hebert presents 37 Lectures Every Writer Should Listen To posted at Online Degree Programs.org: Top Online Degrees.

Florine Church presents 10 Most Valuable Books in the World posted at Online Colleges.net.

Kristie Lewis presents 101 Habits of Highly Effective Writers posted at Online Degrees.net Blog.

Lovelymary presents 10 Famous Literary Characters and the Real People Who Inspired Them posted at Online Colleges.net.

This concludes this edition of Lovely Words, thank you for reading.

© 2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans (All rights Reserved)

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans

I am working on several writing projects and am finding it impossible to just sit down and finish one. I have made a little head way on each project but nothing substantial. There are days when I sit at the computer going through projects trying to figure out which one to work on. When I begin to feel I will never finish anything I remember the following passage from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird:  

          When my older brother was ten years old he was trying to get a report on

          birds written that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next

          day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen

           table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened

           books on birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my

           father sat down beside him, put his arm around my brothers shoulder,

          and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.

                                                                             ( Lamott, 1994 p. 19)

This passage comes to me often in life. It reminds me to take a step back and evaluate the circumstances. This is one of my favorite stories because we should all take life and writing bird by bird.  Life and writing have a lot in common because writing is an expression of life.

Life is to writing as music is to dance. Writing is an interpretation of life just like dance is an illumination of music. Writing is a celebration of life both the good and bad sides. Although, I find it quite difficult to celebrate when I am looking at a blinking cursor.

Today when I look at my projects I am grateful to have so much work and so many ideas. Whenever I get new ideas I simply file it away in my idea book knowing I can take each project bird by bird.   

 
©  C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved) 

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans

God grant me the serenity to

Accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

Wisdom to know the difference

( Reinhold Niebuhr)

I have been writing a lot lately, and although I find it cathartic the consequences are both good and bad. The good consequence is I am honest with myself more and can’t hide behind conscious or subconscious emotions. The bad consequence is that I have to admit for the last week or two I have not been fully present for my life.

I feel overwhelmed and have been wallowing in past mistakes, would have, could have, and should haves. This is no way to live one’s life. I am grateful that writing always puts me back on the right track.  I cannot change the past only cultivate a brighter future.

I work really hard to be present for my life and am unsure of how I could slip. Anyway I am back and feel a renewed appreciation for life. I cannot get the time back I spent worrying about things I cannot change but I can make the most of the present time.

Writing always brings me back to the present, and allows me to deal with issues I thought were too large to tackle. Writing grounds me in ways I never could imagine when I began journaling as a child.  In writing I find serenity, a safety net that it enables me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

© C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved)

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans

I was watching the Academy Awards last night and was shocked to see, producer, Elinor Burkett bum rush the stage and commandeer, short film director, Robert Ross William’s acceptance speech. Has everyone gone Kanye West?

In the creative community the Academy Awards are considered the cream de la cream. Everyone dresses to the height of fashion and are expected to be on their best behavior. Does this change because we have a disagreement with the person who wins an award?

I don’t know about you but I watch the Oscars for a bit of escapism. This moment brought the show down to its lowest level. I was enjoying the entire pump and circumstance, paying careful attention to what everyone was wearing, and having an all around good time. Elinor Burkett let the air out of my balloon.

 I hope the future of award season is not to expect ill behavior at every ceremony. I’m sure Ms. Burkett had her reasons for her behavior, but I wish she had picked a less public venue to make her statement. I am always disappointed when human beings act in a less-than-humane manner; but I also think that being creative Ms. Burkett and Mr. Williams should people should try to find a more inspired means to solve their differences.            

© 2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans All Rights Reserved

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design

By C. J. Stegall-Evans 

I love rainy day dreaming. Most mornings I’m out of bed by five, but on rainy days I give in the dreamer in me. I lie in bed and daydream about waking up in (my future) cottage on the beach. I lie on a soft feather bed under a down comforter, as if nestled in a cloud.

No one gets out of bed early on rainy days when they are nestled in a cloud. The rain is coming down hard in rhythm to the crash of the ocean waves. The louder it rains the more I feel as if I really am on the beach. I am in a fetal position; there is no outside world only this moment, this time. I feel safe and secure allowing my writer-self to give way to my dreamer-self.

Our dreamers have to have space in our lives so that we can see future possibilities. To have a better future we have to be able to see a better future, and then work toward that goal. I let go of thought and lie still feeling my atoms separate and salt air feels every fiber of my being. I am a conscious-yet-unconscious part of the Universe.

I luxuriate in this feeling because it’s not often I can mediate at this level. I hear the sound of a train its vibration making the dream even more real. The ocean, the train, can life be any better than that? I keep my eyes gently closed trying to fit eternity into minutes. The ocean roars, I pull my comforter up around my ears making a cocoon.  

My cocoon is warm, soft, fluffy and free of worries. Today I take a day off from the rest of the world to be a dreamer. I am especially kind to myself and forgiving of myself and others. Today is about a very small world with only goodness and light. Tomorrow can be whatever it chooses but today is for spiritual and emotional healing.    

© 2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans (All rights Reserved)     

Designed by Tim Sainburg from Brambling Design