By C. J. Stegall-Evans
It’s almost August and I’m feeling that old familiar ache. The tears well up, sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t. August seems to always break my heart. This is the month I was married and also the month I became widowed.
One life’s cruel jokes, if anything is going to go wrong in my life you better believe it’s going to happen in August. In fact in the not too distant past I would go to bed pull the covers up over my head and wait until September. All was well until August of 2008 which was so horrid in terms of my personal, professional, and fiscal life I knew something would have to change so that I could redefine it. In November I began setting goals to ensure a better 2009.
In August of 2009 I started this blog to encourage writers to write. In August I either start new projects or send out finished projects. I am always working on an invention in August. I pray and meditate a bit more. I try to be a bit kinder to myself and others. Rather than dwelling on the bad thing that have happened in this month I embrace the lessons learned.
August reminds me to be grateful for my life and not take anything for granted. Rather than dreading August I now look forward to starting new projects reflecting and on what’s really important. I can’t say that I am happy every day in August but I am grateful, everyday. My renewed appreciation for the month of August means I am open to my feelings on any given day and I own it. I own it, I feel it, and I get through it.
I hope at some point in my life August will be like any other month, but maybe it has been much far too tragic for that. Anyway, I have made my peace with the month of August and incorporated into my life as a natural part of my existence. In advent of August I extend to the world as much prayer, love, and compassion as I can muster.
© 2010 C. J. Stegall-Evans (All Rights Reserved)
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